hardstep:

JUNE 13TH, 2012.

this is at where i’m livin right now, so stoked for this show! 

Last night, I found out that I lost a high-school friend of mine, Julian Chase. After he graduated Wilson High School, he enlisted in the Marine Corps and I subsequently saw him only once after he went in. He died yesterday in combat in Afghanistan. 

My memories of him are pretty strong as he was one of my high school crushes. He took me driving in his pick-up truck a couple of times and I have this one really vivid memory of him speeding about… 50 miles an hour, in the narrowest alley in DC (15mph speed limit). He was crazy, and we all knew that - always with a cigarette in his mouth too. We would hang out at Fort Reno in DC, and drink - went to a few parties, ate pizza and beer at one of them I remember (where Sam, Will, and I had a blast). While he was away we talked online a lot (Marine Corps was lonely at first for him). I remember I always wanted him to meet my father and cousin because I always knew he’d get along with them - too bad that will never happen. A good kid, he shouldn’t have been in a war - fighting for someone else’s agenda - not fair. 

the depression is itching to get back in me. i literally feel like i’m carrying 50 extra pounds worth of weight around with me. i woke up in the groggiest way possible, after 9 hours of sleep, and everything i’ve been doing today has taken me twice as long because my body just doesn’t want to move. there’s so many exciting things happening this summer, and i want to be excited, but right now all i’m doing is dreading them. the one thing i truly am 100% excited for is moving into my new place (xvx coop), going through all my shit, getting rid of possessions that don’t mean anything, so stoked. now, making it through this week without having a breakdown, this will be a test. 

just spent the past 3 hours on the phone, on the internet, looking up yelp reviews, looking up directions, going back, starting the process over again, for each new dentist i could find. INSURANCE AGENCIES ARE A COMPLETE SHAM AND ARE SO FKN FRUSTRATING. my dental insurance only covers 3 offices in boston, and all 3 of them do not accept new clients under that insurance, SO IT’S AS IF THEY DO NOT OFFER ANY DENTISTS IN ALL OF BOSTON. wtf? i am on the verge of a breakdown, all because of my freakin TEETH. they hurt so bad, it hurts to exist, and no dentist has an appointment free for at least a week. what the hell? 

xexhausted&frustratedx

so last night gabriel and i got in a fight (of course, we’re dating, and we’re both hella strong-minded), nothin totally out of the ordinary, just, somethin to work through. better times to come. but, it was an interesting day because up until bout 4pm, i was pretty bored, and thus, let myself ponder the ins and outs of the argument, and hella DWELL. but then, i have a meeting with some bu veg society members, discussin intersectionality. and now i’m back at my old place hangin with mollie, and dang, life is swell. i am so happy to be chillin, mollie and i spent the last few hours catchin up, chillin, listenin to music (mostly manque), figurin out our problems, tellin crush stories, etc. 

basically, i have the best friends and support system and am the luckiest girl ever. thanks world for watchin out for me. 

this is werid. mollie and i are not roommates anymore. dislike immediately but when i think about it more, i’m excited to be more intentional with our hangin out. but i’m still incredibly sad to not see them every night. :( 

tonight after a show, i drove 52 miles to get to an old friend’s house and dang was it worth it. we had so much fun catching up, chillin, talkin bout the past, talkin bout the present, talkin bout the future, it was good. we’re not at the same point that we both were when we were really good friends - but we are discoverin what it’s like to appreciate each other’s company now. and that is so fkn important to me. now that i’ve moved cities, and realized how easy it is to lose people, i feel like it’s so important to hold on to friendships. so, really happy, really exhausted, but completely at peace. what a great night! 

also, dc rules. i miss it, oh so much. but i might be returning in a year. maybe. 

seein this one in 24 hours and we’ll be hitting up NYC!!!!! my first real weekend in nyc. so stoked! i wanna go to these vegan places: 

• blossom
• lula’s 
• soy&sake

Rawl’s original position calls for a veil of ignorance - if we are to determine how society is to operate, we should do so behind a veil of ignorance, without knowing individual attributes (even of ourselves), to create as just a society as possible. Rawl’s principles of justice are the right to equal liberty, and access to social and economic mobility - with the first having precedence. The interpretation of the second principle has come under scrutiny, but Rawls intended democratic equality - where there is a principle of fair equality of opportunity, coupled with the difference principle. The difference principle states better situated members of society should have higher expectations of success, only if their greater success goes along with the greater success for the least advantaged members of society. I believe the Difference Principle coupled with the Veil of Ignorance would actually help our society - although of course there are qualms with each. If I had to choose between Rawl’s ideal society and Hayek’s open society, I would clearly choose Rawls. 

Okay, I’m slightly more ready for my exam now. 

undercoveranarchist:

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i hardly ever reblog pro-vegan stuff, but i couldn’t help myself.

Veganism, it’s about consent. 

final in two hours. instead, i’m thinkin what summer holds. i’m livin in a house for ten days with these people! how wonderful! 

stoked to see poison planet in a month. they fuckin rule. listen to this shit. 

i’m trying to figure it out. i got off the phone with one of my best friends from high school yesterday, and we both were perplexed. we’ve got a friend right now who just lost a part of her future because she tore her ACL. and we’re like, hmmm, how the fuck do we comfort someone whose life is changed, pretty permanently? we asked ourselves how we would like to be comforted - her answer was humorous distractions. mine was live the depression - just be sad with me, physically in my space. but it’s different with every case, and we don’t have any sort of categorical imperative about it. so then we moved on to talking about the fits of depression i used to have in high school. literally storming out of classrooms balling my eyes out, she’d go chasing after me, and then i’d just sit on the floor of the bathroom and wait. she’d be there, in my space. yesterday, i thanked her for it. she was there for me. and now, when the depression is back, i don’t have classrooms to storm out of, i don’t feel the need to throw those temper-tantrum-esque type display of misery. and worse, i dont have her. or any of the other friends who somewhat knew how to deal with me at that point. instead, i simply feel like crying, swallowing pills, and returning to sleep. and so, i’m back to my original question, what cheers a person up? i started today absolutely miserably, and i continued through the majority of the day as such. but then i dont know, i went to a quartet recital, i went out to eat with a good friend, and i went to mit’s steer roast party. somehow, i’m doing okay. what is it? i need to figure this out, sooner the better, cuz the depression isn’t goin anywhere. how many tries is it going to take before i understand?